Image by Dmitry Schemelev

“I had no roadmap, it was just love, and a lot of trial and error.”

That is what Cynthia said when she talked about her 24-year-old son, Devon, who is autistic and learning to live more independently.

When Devon turned 18, it didn’t magically get easier. In fact, Cynthia says the hardest part came after high school. When the structure dropped away, she realized there were fewer services… and more questions than answers.

She was not sure how to help him find work, socialize, or even keep up with daily tasks. She figured it out, but not all at once, and not perfectly.

She listened, learned, and stayed close, without hovering. Today, Devon is working part-time at a local animal rescue, where he found purpose and community.

Cynthia? She says, “I still walk beside him. I also let him walk ahead sometimes.”

[Source: Autism Parenting Magazine]

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/adult-autism-transition-strategies/

If you are parenting an adult child with neurodivergent, ADHD, dyslexia, or other neurodivergent needs, you probably feel like you are building the plane while flying it.

There is no manual to help you along the journey, but just love, worry, hope, and a lot of questions that keep you up at night.

Will my children ever be independent? Will they be safe? What happens when I am no longer here?

Maybe you find the hardest question to be

Am I doing enough?

This blog will not fix everything. However, it will give you five doable ways to support your adult neurodivergent child while honoring your limits, too.

You are not only parenting. You are also guiding, and you do not have to do everything by yourself.

You are not fixing your child.

You are helping them live a life that feels right for them.

If your children find something that lights them up, such as a rhythm that works or people who get them included, you will feel less like a lifeguard and more like a lighthouse.

Five Ways to Support Your Adult Neurodivergent Child

Image by Matthias Oberholzer

• Let Them Have a Voice in Their Life. Start with listening, then ask, “What do you want?” Even if they struggle to answer, keep asking gently. Please support them in making decisions, even small ones. Autonomy builds confidence. Guide, don’t control. Your child needs space to grow.
• Prioritize Practical Life Skills Over Fixing. Instead of focusing on what they can not do, build on what they can. Budgeting, hygiene, cooking, managing schedules… These are crucial. Devon could not manage a planner, but he could use Alexa to remind him about daily meds. That is a win.
• Connect, Do not Correct
  Many neurodivergent adults feel like they are always being managed. Flip the script, share interests, and watch your child’s favorite shows. You can even cook together, find joy in the connection, and not the correction. “I like being around you” means more than “You did that right.”
• Build a Circle (Not a Safety Net). You do not have to do it all by yourself. Find a therapist who gets it. Join a support group (online counts). Connect with other parents to help your child build safe adult friendships and mentors. You were not meant to carry this all yourself
• Do not Lose Yourself. This one is hard, but you matter too. You need joy and rest to refresh. You do not have to be on 24/7 to be a hero parent. Cynthia started painting again. She says, “It gave me something more than being a mom. Strangely, that made me a better one.”

Your Next Step as a Hero Parent

To support your adult child it does not mean solving everything.

It means you need to show up with love, curiosity, and some tools that work.

Here’s the plan:

• Pick one of the five areas.
• Make one small change this week.
• Celebrate the progress, no matter how tiny it feels.

You should know this is not a race. Your children need you as you are.

That makes you a hero.

You may not see it at the moment. One day, your child will look back and say, “I am where I am today because my parents never gave up on me.” With that? That is more than old

Do you know of any other ways to support a neurodivergent adult child? Please share them to support a parent.

Photo by Natasha Hall

When Sara’s son, Lucas, was diagnosed with autism at age three, the world went quiet. The school system gave her more labels than solutions. One educator even suggested Lucas might “never read or write like the other kids.” However Sara believed otherwise. She decided to homeschool.

At first, it was hard. Lucas would avoid eye contact and barely spoke. Slowly, Sara began to notice that when lessons were based on his interests, cars, building blocks, and sound patterns he would be happy.

Today, Lucas is ten. He writes short stories, solves puzzles faster than most neurotypical children his age. Sometimes he helps his mom teach other families how to customize learning at home.

Sara’s story is not rare. It is one of thousands shared through the National Home Education Research Institute (NHERI), which reports that students with special needs often show greater emotional and academic progress in inclusive homeschool settings than in traditional inclusion settings.

What changed for Lucas? The answer is simple yet powerful.

Inclusion at home.

The Problem Most Parents Face

If you are reading this, you have felt that pain too. Maybe it came after a diagnosis, or during a meeting where educators talked ‘about’ your child, but not ‘to’ or ‘with’ them.

Many parents of neurodiverse children feel stuck. You want to do what is best, but it seems like no one hands you a clear roadmap.

You have probably asked yourself “Can I really teach my children?”“What if I fail them?”

Let me tell you something important.

You have come this far, and that is what makes you a hero parent.

Where Belonging Becomes the Foundation for Growth

Inclusion doesn’t mean forcing your child to fit into someone else’s box. It means ‘designing the box around your child’.

Homeschooling offers that flexibility. It lets you teach in a way that matches how your child learns best.

Guess what?

Studies show that children with learning differences in inclusive homeschool settings often experience:

• Greater confidence
• Better retention
• Stronger family bonds
• Emotional safety that leads to academic progress

(Source: NHERI.org and Coalition for Responsible Home Education)

You may not have the formal qualifications to teach, but with the right support, you can design an individualized curriculum for your child.

A New Way Forward

Photo by Bianca Naira

How would you feel to witness the mornings without anxiety, bullying or meltdowns?

If lessons are built around what your child loves. Progress will be measured by joy, not just scores.

You sit with your child at the kitchen table. You guide them through math using their favorite snacks. You read books together, act out the characters, and laugh.You are not only teaching, they are learning.

That’s inclusion in action.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

As a hero parent, you are already your child’s best advocate. Even heroes need guidance.

That’s the beauty of this journey, you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

There is a growing community of educators, specialists, and fellow parents who believe in inclusion and are walking this path too. There are tools, insights, and real stories that can help you shape a home where your child feels safe, nurtured, loved, and supported.

You already have the heart. Now build the way forward.

Inclusion Begins With You

Inclusion is not a strategy, it’s a belief. It is the belief that every child can learn, that home is the safest place to grow, and that you are the best person to guide them.

You can start today. Not with perfection, but with presence.

You are homeschooling. You are building a life where your child belongs. You are giving your child techniques to develop independence.

As a parent, where do you believe your neurodivergent child thrives best-through inclusion at home or-in a traditional school setting?

We would love to hear your story in the comments.

Sources:* National Home Education Research Institute https://www.nheri.org

Coalition for Responsible Home Education https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/

Photo by CDC

“It felt like the floor dropped out from under me.“

That’s how Meghan Herbert described the moment she got the autism diagnosis for her son, Owen when he was two. She knew something was different about him. Hearing it from the doctor hit her like a wave.

“I wanted to run out of that room and pretend it didn’t happen,” she said in an interview with Today Parents.

She didn’t run, but got up, walked out and started learning.

Source: “Autism diagnosis: Mom opens up about the moment she learned her son was on the spectrum” — Today.com

https://www.today.com/parents/mom-autism-diagnosis-son-t251695

If you’re reading this, you may be standing where Meghan once stood. You’re stunned, overwhelmed, and a little scared.

Find your calm, everything will be okay. You don’t have to figure it all out in one day.

You are your children’s greatest hero. You need to save and care for them in the journey ahead.

7 Things Every Parent Needs to Hear When a Diagnosis Changes Everything

Image from Peter Burdon

1. This Is Not Your Fault

Kindly permit me to say that again ‘this is not your fault’. It is not because of something you did or didn’t do. Neurodivergence is not a punishment. It is a different wiring. Your child is still whole, worthy, and deeply loved.

2. Grief Is Normal, So Is Joy

It is okay to cry, to feel sad, and even feel lost. You had dreams and expectations, but this diagnosis has changed the path you imagined.

Guess what?

There will also be laughter and surprises ahead, wins that will make you dance in your kitchen. Give yourself space for both.

3. You Are the Hero of Your Child’s Journey

Doctors, psychologists, educators, and therapists are your partners, yet you are the constant. You have the right to ask questions, say no, and to choose what is best for your child. Don’t be afraid to trust your gut. It is powerful.

4. Labels Don’t Limit Potential

A diagnosis is a tool, not a box.It opens the door to support, but it does not define the future. Your child can grow, thrive, and soar in ways you can not yet imagine.

5. Build a Village (Even If It’s Small at First)

No one should walk this journey alone. Find a support group. Talk to another parent. Start with just one connection because one can lead to many. Even online spaces like ‘The Mighty’, ‘Autism Speaks’, or Facebook groups can become lifelines. Sometimes, your greatest strength comes from knowing you are not alone.

6. Progress Is Not Always Linear

There will be great days. There will be days when nothing seems to work. That’s not failure; it is part of the rhythm. Celebrate the small steps. They matter more than you know. Over time, they become the milestones that shape the journey.

7. Your Love is the Best Therapy

You do not need a PhD or all the answers. You just need to show up. Read the story, ‘sing that song, and hold that little hand’. That is the power of healing, and it is more than enough.

This is What an Expert Has to Say

Dr. Rick Solomon is a developmental and behavioral pediatrician and founder of ‘The PLAY Project’, he explains:

“The most powerful therapy is a loving parent. What neurodivergent children really need is engagement, joy, and connection and that can start at home.”

Dr. Rick Solomon, in an interview with Autism Parenting Magazine, Issue 125 (2022).

As a parent, is there something you wish you had known when your child was first diagnosed? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Citations:

1. Herbert, Meghan. “Mom opens up about the moment she learned her son was on the spectrum.” Today.com.

https://www.today.com/parents/mom-autism-diagnosis-son-t251695

Solomon Rick. “The PLAY Project: Why Parent-Led Therapy Works.” Autism Parenting Magazine, Issue 125, 2022.

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/the-play-project-therapy-autism/

You deserve more than just survival mode

Photo by Sora Shimazaki

Wendy is a devoted mother, she faced the daunting journey of raising her son, who was diagnosed with autism. Managing the complexities of therapies, educational systems, and societal misunderstandings, she often found herself questioning every decision.

One pivotal moment was when Wendy had to advocate for a change in her son’s therapist. She realized that consistency and understanding were crucial for his development. This decision, though was challenging, but it underscored the importance of trusting her instincts and prioritizing her child’s needs.

Throughout her journey, Wendy emphasized the significance of self-care. She understands that to support her son effectively, she needs to ensure her well-being. Her story is a piece of evidence of the resilience and the challenges that parents of autistic children face daily.

Source: Norooz Clinic – Raising a Child Who is Living With Autism: Wendy’s Story

It struck a nerve because when you’re raising a child with special needs, exhaustion isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, mental, quiet, and constant.

Let’s pause for a second and ask about something important.

How have you been coping?

If your cup is always empty, how can you pour it into your child?

This is for you. Not as a reminder of your strength. But as an invitation to care for yourself as well.

Why Your Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

You’ve probably heard the phrase,“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

But when your life revolves around therapies, appointments, IEP meetings, meltdowns, and long nights, self-care can feel like a luxury.

It’s not. It’s survival, restoration, and it’s how you keep going.

You are the hero parent, and the anchor in your child’s storm. Even anchors need maintenance.

These are Some Simple Self-Care Strategies That Work

• . Schedule 10-minute breathers.

Even just 10 minutes of stepping outside, deep breathing, or listening to your favorite song can reset your mind.

• Join a support circle

You don’t have to walk through this all by yourself. Virtual parent groups, Facebook communities, or local meetups can offer more than advice, they can offer you understanding and support.

• Ask for help without guilt

Tag in a friend, ask a neighbor. Or let your partner handle dinner. You’re not failing, you’re human.

• Sleep is sacred

You know sleep can be erratic. Even a few hours of rest can make a world of difference. Set boundaries, and let your body recover.

• Celebrate your wins, too

Your child’s progress matters, and so does yours. Did you stay calm during a meltdown? Did you advocate during an IEP? You’re growing, too.

You Are the Hero of This Story.

You’re a parent. You’re an educator, a therapist, a warrior, and a guide.

I don’t want you to forget, you’re a human being.

You deserve joy, rest, and to feel great again.

I want you to remember what Wendy discovered, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say, “I need care, too”.

Hear What a Clinical Psychologist and Researcher Has to Say.

Dr. Elisabeth Dykens, a Professor of Psychology and Human Development at Vanderbilt University, has extensively researched the stress experienced by parents of children with special needs.

In a 2019 conference presentation, she highlighted the critical role of self-care in mitigating this stress. Dr. Dykens emphasized that neglecting self-care can lead to increased anxiety and depression among parents, underscoring the necessity of prioritizing personal well-being to effectively support their children.

Today, I encourage you to pause for a moment and take a deep breath. When you care for yourself, you show your children how to care for themselves someday, too.

Do you have any strategy different from the ones mentioned? Kindly share with us in the comment section, let’s learn together.

Dear, Hero Parent

A father once talked about the first time he sat in an IEP meeting.

He walked into the room thinking it was just a check-in. But within minutes, papers were passed around, acronyms were flying, and a dozen professionals were speaking. None of whom had spent more than 10 minutes with his daughter.

This was a brand new language, he felt overwhelmed.

He left that meeting confused and frustrated. He mentioned it later, “I didn’t know, I am making the right decision.“

But something later changed everything.He had the choice to bring someone else, an advocate.

Not to speak for him.

But to help him speak up.

That’s what advocacy looks like.And it comes in different forms, each one is powerful.

If you’ve ever left an IEP meeting feeling lost or second guessing yourself, you’re not the only one. But you’re also not powerless.

Let me introduce you to three types of IEP advocates every parent with a child with special needs should know about.

• The Parent Advocate (That’s you, the hero).

You are your child’s first and most consistent voice.

The parent advocate prepares. Learn the law. Shows up with notes, questions, and clarity. You may not have a background in education, but you have something stronger. Lived experience.

When you understand your rights under IDEA, know your child’s strengths and needs, and lead with compassion, you can dictate the tone of the room.

Always remember, you belong at that table.

• The Professional Advocate.

Sometimes, we all need a guide.A trained IEP advocate can help you.

i. Review IEP documents

ii. Attend meetings with you

iii. Offer strategies when you’re hitting a wall

They won’t take over, they will empower you.

They remind you, you’re not crazy for pushing back.That your gut matters, and your voice counts.

You can find them through local nonprofits, school districts, or online advocacy networks.

• The Peer Advocate.

These are fellow parents who’ve walked the road you’re on.

They may not have certifications, but they have wisdom, heart, and stories. A peer advocate might text you encouragement before a big meeting. They’ll share what worked for their child, and what didn’t.

They will remind you that you’re not on this journey alone. And that’s sometimes the most powerful advocacy of all.

Hear What an Educational Consultant Has to say

Dr. Danielle Cohen, is an IEP advocate and educational consultant. She emphasizes the significance of collaboration between parents, educators, and school districts.

She advocates for individual educational plans, student’s specific requirements, to ensure they receive the necessary accommodations and services to thrive academically, socially, mentally, and behaviorally.

Advocacy is confrontation. It’s a connection.You’re not “that parent” for asking questions. You’re the right parent for your child.

No one knows your child like you do.But that doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone.

In every IEP room, you deserve support.You deserve to feel seen.And your children deserve a team that truly gets them.

So before your next meeting, take a breath.Reach out, and prepare for it.Always remember the hero in this story is you.

Here’s a bonus for you, download the PDF checklist version of the 3 IEP Advocates in the link below.

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Prof. Sherley Louis