You deserve more than just survival mode

Photo by Sora Shimazaki

Wendy is a devoted mother, she faced the daunting journey of raising her son, who was diagnosed with autism. Managing the complexities of therapies, educational systems, and societal misunderstandings, she often found herself questioning every decision.

One pivotal moment was when Wendy had to advocate for a change in her son’s therapist. She realized that consistency and understanding were crucial for his development. This decision, though was challenging, but it underscored the importance of trusting her instincts and prioritizing her child’s needs.

Throughout her journey, Wendy emphasized the significance of self-care. She understands that to support her son effectively, she needs to ensure her well-being. Her story is a piece of evidence of the resilience and the challenges that parents of autistic children face daily.

Source: Norooz Clinic – Raising a Child Who is Living With Autism: Wendy’s Story

It struck a nerve because when you’re raising a child with special needs, exhaustion isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, mental, quiet, and constant.

Let’s pause for a second and ask about something important.

How have you been coping?

If your cup is always empty, how can you pour it into your child?

This is for you. Not as a reminder of your strength. But as an invitation to care for yourself as well.

Why Your Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

You’ve probably heard the phrase,“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

But when your life revolves around therapies, appointments, IEP meetings, meltdowns, and long nights, self-care can feel like a luxury.

It’s not. It’s survival, restoration, and it’s how you keep going.

You are the hero parent, and the anchor in your child’s storm. Even anchors need maintenance.

These are Some Simple Self-Care Strategies That Work

• . Schedule 10-minute breathers.

Even just 10 minutes of stepping outside, deep breathing, or listening to your favorite song can reset your mind.

• Join a support circle

You don’t have to walk through this all by yourself. Virtual parent groups, Facebook communities, or local meetups can offer more than advice, they can offer you understanding and support.

• Ask for help without guilt

Tag in a friend, ask a neighbor. Or let your partner handle dinner. You’re not failing, you’re human.

• Sleep is sacred

You know sleep can be erratic. Even a few hours of rest can make a world of difference. Set boundaries, and let your body recover.

• Celebrate your wins, too

Your child’s progress matters, and so does yours. Did you stay calm during a meltdown? Did you advocate during an IEP? You’re growing, too.

You Are the Hero of This Story.

You’re a parent. You’re an educator, a therapist, a warrior, and a guide.

I don’t want you to forget, you’re a human being.

You deserve joy, rest, and to feel great again.

I want you to remember what Wendy discovered, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say, “I need care, too”.

Hear What a Clinical Psychologist and Researcher Has to Say.

Dr. Elisabeth Dykens, a Professor of Psychology and Human Development at Vanderbilt University, has extensively researched the stress experienced by parents of children with special needs.

In a 2019 conference presentation, she highlighted the critical role of self-care in mitigating this stress. Dr. Dykens emphasized that neglecting self-care can lead to increased anxiety and depression among parents, underscoring the necessity of prioritizing personal well-being to effectively support their children.

Today, I encourage you to pause for a moment and take a deep breath. When you care for yourself, you show your children how to care for themselves someday, too.

Do you have any strategy different from the ones mentioned? Kindly share with us in the comment section, let’s learn together.

Photo by RDNE Stock project:

A few years ago, Maya, a single mom of a boy with autism, found herself crying in the grocery store aisle. Her son had just had a meltdown over a broken snack package, and strangers stared. Some judged, while a few walked away. But one elderly woman didn’t. She looked Maya in the eye and said, “You’re doing great, mama. He’s learning.”

That simple moment changed Maya’s mindset. She wasn’t failing. Her son was learning. And learning is a journey, not a race.

That’s exactly what life skills are, learning moments we plant daily. When you have a child with special needs, these life lessons become even more precious. They build confidence, independence, and pride.

They create possibility.

Life Skills Will Help Your Child Build Confidence

Mind you, life skills will help prepare your child to face life challenges. The life skills will help boost your child’s confidence. Some of them could be as simple as buttoning a shirt, setting the table, recognizing emotions, or making simple choices.

These daily wins will empower your child with confidence.

The little wins will give them the ability to tackle a bigger challenge.

As a parent, you’re not only teaching your child skills. You’re nurturing self-worth.

The Unseen Side of the Journey

I would like to be honest with you, teaching life skills is not an easy task. It takes time, patience, repetition, and more patience.

At a point you may wonder, is this even working?

I encourage you not to give up on trying.

Do you know, it takes the Chinese bamboo tree five years to break through the ground?

For five long years, it will show no sign of growth above the soil. But beneath the surface, it’s building a deep and strong root system. It’s quietly preparing for a remarkable breakthrough.

Then, in just six weeks, it shoots up over 80 feet tall.

The question is, did the bamboo grow in six weeks or five years?

Teaching your child a life skill might be like germinating bamboo; your effort, consistency, and patience may not show results right away.

But that doesn’t mean growth is not happening. It’s building beneath the surface, strong, steady, unshakable.

Keep teaching, and believing. The breakthrough is coming.

The truth is, small steps lead to big wins.When your child learns to zip a jacket or wash a cup, it’s more than a task. It’s a confidence builder. Every time you pause to teach instead of rush to fix, you’re planting seeds of independence.

That’s heroic, you’re a hero parent.

You’re not failing, many parents feel overwhelmed. You’re carving a new path.

Are you worried about how to start?

You can always start small. Think simple, one task, one goal, and one success.

Here you have 3 practical ways to begin.

• Try to break tasks into tiny steps Instead of “clean your room,” start with “let’s put your toys in the bin.” Celebrate the effort, not perfection.
• Use visuals and routines. Children thrive on structure. Visual schedules and checklists are powerful tools that reduce stress and support learning.
• Model, practice, and praise Try to show it, do it together, and then let your child try. Make sure you praise progress always to encourage the child.

Always have this at the back of your mind, “It’s okay if it takes time, it’s okay if it’s messy“, that’s life and that’s learning. This will help you build your mental muscle for the stress.

What makes it all worth it?

The day your child will make a sandwich on his own, or will say “I can do it myself”. That’s where the magic lies.

You’re not only raising children, you’re raising future adults who believe in their own abilities.

Isn’t that a dream worth the try?

Here what an inclusive educator has to say

“Every student can learn, just not on the same day or in the same way.” — George Evans

Teaching life skills is more than perfection. It’s the connection. It’s showing up again and again, even when it’s hard.

You are your child’s first teacher and hero.

For every tiny win, that’s because you didn’t give up.

I encourage you today to give yourself credit. Take a deep breath, hug your child. Then teach one small skill with great love.

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Last year, on April 30th, Mariah sat in her car outside the therapy center. She was watching her son through the glass window. He was flapping his hands with excitement while sorting puzzle pieces.

Tears filled her eyes, not because she was sad, but because the world had finally paused long enough to notice kids like hers. Autism Acceptance Month gave her hope. It gave her son visibility. It gave her community.

But when the banners came down, the hashtags stopped trending. The colors faded, she felt something many special needs parents do.

Does that feeling sound familiar?

If you’re raising a child with autism, April can feel like a warm hug from the world. But what about May? June? The rest of the year?

You should always remember you’re not just a parent. You’re a hero.

Even a teacher, especially if you’re homeschooling or walking through IEPs and therapies.

So how do you keep going strong even when the spotlight dims?

I would love to talk about how you, the hero in your child’s story can keep showing up with strength, strategy, and heart all year long.

5 Ways to Support Your Child Even After Acceptance Month Ends

• Make Sure Everyday Visibility Count

Autism Acceptance shouldn’t be seasonal. You can build awareness and education right from your home.

You can share your child’s strengths with family and friends.

Celebrate the small wins. That new word, that brave step, they matter.

Let your child be seen, heard, and valued daily. It starts with you modeling it.

When others see how much you value your child, it shifts how they respond.

• Make Sure You Create a Sensory-Safe Routine

Autistic children thrive in routines that make them feel safe. Keep those calming strategies you learned in April going strong.

Use visual schedules.

Make time for sensory breaks.

Choose learning tools that align with your child’s sensory preferences.

Don’t underestimate how structure reduces anxiety. This is not just for your child, but for you too.

• Stay Connected with Your Tribe

Your support system shouldn’t vanish after April.

Join online communities or local meetups for parents of children with autism.

Keep learning through books, blogs, and professional advice.

Most importantly, connect with other parents who get it.

The journey feels lighter when you don’t walk it alone.

• Try to Empower, Don’t Overpower

As your child grows, so should their sense of autonomy. This may look different for each child, but you should have a goal.

Help your children discover who they are, not just what they need.

Give them choices. Let them express opinions, even with visuals or assistive devices. That’s how confidence grows.

• Make Sure to Refill Your Cup

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

Take mental breaks.

Don’t be shy to say yes to help.

Allow yourself to grieve, to laugh, and most importantly, to breathe.

You’re not failing when you rest. You’re preserving your power.

Hear What One Hero Parent Has to Say

Ehimwenma Bello-Osagie, an autism parent advocate and educational consultant in Nigeria, emphasizes the importance of year-round awareness and support. She believes that. Vanguard News

“Every special child has a special parent who must adapt to their unique world,” and stresses the need for early detection and consistent support to use the talents of children with autism effectively.

The Reason This Matters

The truth is, your child is autistic every month of the year. And your love, your patience, your advocacy, that’s the real acceptance they need most.

I, Prof. Sherley Louis, I see you. I stand with you. And I believe in your child’s full potential, not just in April, but always.

I encourage you to continue to build a world where inclusion isn’t just celebrated once a year.

But in every day, in every classroom, at every table, and in every heart.

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©Prof. Sherley Louis

Dear, Hero Parent

A father once talked about the first time he sat in an IEP meeting.

He walked into the room thinking it was just a check-in. But within minutes, papers were passed around, acronyms were flying, and a dozen professionals were speaking. None of whom had spent more than 10 minutes with his daughter.

This was a brand new language, he felt overwhelmed.

He left that meeting confused and frustrated. He mentioned it later, “I didn’t know, I am making the right decision.“

But something later changed everything.He had the choice to bring someone else, an advocate.

Not to speak for him.

But to help him speak up.

That’s what advocacy looks like.And it comes in different forms, each one is powerful.

If you’ve ever left an IEP meeting feeling lost or second guessing yourself, you’re not the only one. But you’re also not powerless.

Let me introduce you to three types of IEP advocates every parent with a child with special needs should know about.

• The Parent Advocate (That’s you, the hero).

You are your child’s first and most consistent voice.

The parent advocate prepares. Learn the law. Shows up with notes, questions, and clarity. You may not have a background in education, but you have something stronger. Lived experience.

When you understand your rights under IDEA, know your child’s strengths and needs, and lead with compassion, you can dictate the tone of the room.

Always remember, you belong at that table.

• The Professional Advocate.

Sometimes, we all need a guide.A trained IEP advocate can help you.

i. Review IEP documents

ii. Attend meetings with you

iii. Offer strategies when you’re hitting a wall

They won’t take over, they will empower you.

They remind you, you’re not crazy for pushing back.That your gut matters, and your voice counts.

You can find them through local nonprofits, school districts, or online advocacy networks.

• The Peer Advocate.

These are fellow parents who’ve walked the road you’re on.

They may not have certifications, but they have wisdom, heart, and stories. A peer advocate might text you encouragement before a big meeting. They’ll share what worked for their child, and what didn’t.

They will remind you that you’re not on this journey alone. And that’s sometimes the most powerful advocacy of all.

Hear What an Educational Consultant Has to say

Dr. Danielle Cohen, is an IEP advocate and educational consultant. She emphasizes the significance of collaboration between parents, educators, and school districts.

She advocates for individual educational plans, student’s specific requirements, to ensure they receive the necessary accommodations and services to thrive academically, socially, mentally, and behaviorally.

Advocacy is confrontation. It’s a connection.You’re not “that parent” for asking questions. You’re the right parent for your child.

No one knows your child like you do.But that doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone.

In every IEP room, you deserve support.You deserve to feel seen.And your children deserve a team that truly gets them.

So before your next meeting, take a breath.Reach out, and prepare for it.Always remember the hero in this story is you.

Here’s a bonus for you, download the PDF checklist version of the 3 IEP Advocates in the link below.

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Prof. Sherley Louis

They said your child couldn’t learn like others. They told you to look for alternative centers. But deep down, you know your child is special. Not just because of autism, but because of who they are.

And now, it’s Autism Acceptance Month. Everyone is posting gold ribbons. Sharing facts. Lighting up buildings.

But you want to do something real. Something that honors your child.

But the truth is, you don’t need the world’s permission to celebrate your child. You don’t need a big campaign. You only need a shift in how you see progress.

As a parent you feel left out during Autism Awareness Month. You see the stories online. Children speaking, performing, succeeding. You may wonder, “Why isn’t that my child?”

Yes, it’s natural to think that way but comparison can steal your joy. But your child’s journey is not late. It’s just different.

You might have cried, doubts, but you can also witness a breakthrough.

Like Leila and her son Omar, from The MENA region. At age four, Omar couldn’t sit for more than a few minutes. Meltdowns were part of every day. At the majlis, at family gatherings, even at home, Leila felt the stares and the silent judgment.

Someone told her, “Maybe just keep him at home.” But Leila refused.Leila created simple routines after Fajr. She used his favorite nasheeds to calm him.

She celebrated every peaceful moment, even two quiet minutes during Qur’an time. Then, one quiet afternoon, Omar came and sat beside her. He didn’t speak.

But he gently placed her hand on the book she was reading. That was his way of saying, “Mama, I’m ready.”

Today, Omar is learning to read Arabic slowly. He still flaps his hands when excited.But now, the family calls it his happy dance.

And Leila? She says that moment on the floor, his hand on hers was the beginning of everything. When you see your children differently, you will celebrate them differently.

These are ways you can truly celebrate your child this month.

• Start a “Wins” Journal – Write one thing your child did today that made you proud. Big or small. It could be a smile, eye contact, or a full meal.
• Learn Together – Read and learn one new thing with your children. Let them ask questions, be curious together.
• Speak about Life – Tell your child what you love about them. Be specific, be sincere, every day this month.
• Create a Celebration Ritual – It can be as simple as baking together. Lighting a candle. Saying a prayer of gratitude.

If it feels right, you can share your child’s progress in your community not for praise but to motivate other parents who might be struggling.

Don’t wait for the world to celebrate your child. Do it now. Do it daily. You are their loudest cheerleader and their super hero

This Autism Acceptance Month is special. It’s about love. And your child deserves to be loved.

I encourage you to make this month a reminder that your child is not only accepted, but loved by you. Moreso by the world he’s slowly beginning to shine in.

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©Prof. Sherley Louis